Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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