I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
