Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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