never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
