that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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