my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
