There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
