Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize