I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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