when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize