What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
His hands were made for my vagina.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
