Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize