Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
