I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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