a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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