Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
