i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
