Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
