The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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