thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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