her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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