your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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