I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Randomize
