3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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