I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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