It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
