well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
