do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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