i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
