Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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