I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize