More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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