there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize