He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize