I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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