Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There's always time for handjobs
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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