You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
