oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize