It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
