Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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