worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize