North Korea, Best Korea!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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