if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
