Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
