he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he wants to bone in the snuggie
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
