I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize