my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
