i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
