does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize