i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
