I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
one might say we're banned from that church
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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