ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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