you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
