kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
