she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
