The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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